In general, we advocate for solo anal training, but some couples want it to be a shared experience. If that appeals to you, then this guide will help you get started!
Whether you're working toward pegging, prostate stimulation, or anal sex with a male partner, the journey can be just as meaningful as the destination. Here’s how to train for anal sex as a couple—with patience, connection, and confidence.
1. Start with a Real Conversation
Before you ever reach for a toy, take time to talk.
Discuss:
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Why you're interested in anal sex or anal play
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Any fantasies, hesitations, or previous experiences
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What "success" looks like (Is it penetration? Pleasure? Emotional closeness?)
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Personal boundaries and fears
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Safe words and check-ins during play
This isn’t just about getting on the same page sexually, it’s about building a foundation of trust. Open, honest communication can turn anxiety into anticipation and help both of you feel secure.
2. Set Shared Goals
Some couples are aiming for penetrative anal sex. Others may just want to explore anal stimulation. Clarifying your shared goal will help you:
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Set expectations around time and pacing
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Keep your progress focused and rewarding
If you’re preparing for anal penetration with a partner’s penis or a strap-on, measure the insertable toy or penis circumference. This will be your girth goal- the final size your body will work up to.
3. Choose the Right Tools
Avoid cheap training sets made of unsafe materials or poorly designed plugs. The best training sets are made of platinum cure silicone and include a combination of wands and plugs for effective, safe stretching.
Why wands + plugs? Because:
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Wands allow your body to rest at the widest part of the toy, actively stretching the sphincter
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Plugs help maintain that progress between sessions
Make selecting the set part of the experience. Browse options together, read about sizing, and talk about colors, shapes, or styles you both like. Anticipation is part of the fun.
4. Start Training (and Keep It Sexy)
Anal training doesn’t have to feel clinical. Here’s how to make your sessions feel intimate and arousing:
Set the Scene:
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Dim lighting, music, and your favorite lube
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Warm showers or a bath beforehand can help relax the muscles
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Keep wipes, towels, and extra lube within reach
Begin With Small Steps:
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Use clean, lubed fingers or the smallest wand in your training set
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Let the receiving partner stay fully in control- they insert, they guide, they decide when to move on
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Encourage and praise each other along the way
This is a vulnerable experience. Keep it warm, affirming, and light-hearted. Laugh together. Celebrate progress.
5. Track and Celebrate Progress
You don’t have to move up a size every session. The key is consistency and comfort. After each successful session, celebrate together:
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Share how it felt emotionally and physically
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Journal your progress if that’s helpful
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Reward yourselves with something sensual (a massage, sexy playlist, teasing for the next session)
Every step forward is a step toward comfort, connection, and confidence.
6. Practice Before the Main Event
Once you’ve reached your girth goal, continue training at that size a few more times before attempting full anal sex. On the day you plan to try it:
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Start with foreplay and use your final wand to warm up
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Communicate constantly during penetration
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Try positions that give the receiving partner control (like spooning or cowgirl)
Let go of expectations and focus on sensation, trust, and enjoyment. It may take a few tries to find your rhythm, and that’s perfectly okay.
7. Aftercare Matters
After your session or first experience, take time to reconnect. Cuddle, talk, hydrate, and affirm each other. If there were challenges, reflect gently and with love.
Aftercare is about emotional intimacy, not just physical recovery. It turns sex into connection.
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